The Blue Sea Hurt My Day(Cont.)

A window flies open and calls itself Real.
Every peice of sparkling life jumps into it and smiles.
While we sit together by a pond and dance along the mud
"Traitors" they sing but we take our breaths and jump away.
Abyss called affection, a cracked mirror perfection.
Tonight that's where we dream.

So Backwards walks up to us and kisses our cheeks
And night time flies over with star-like antiques.
Just don't hurt the clouds because Day needs them as jewels
But Harmony ran away with my red piano stool.

War is what we need , they said.
A war with kills and wounds and dead.
Though dreams are our food and you are the plate
We can't stop Inevitable and his daughter named Hate.

(second verse to come)
Battle made eclipse, an arm's race by ships.
Tonight that's where we sleep.

So Order walks up to us and slaps our cheeks
And night time flies over with knife-like antiques.
Now the clouds won't stop bleeding and Day's got red jewels
Because Harmony won't fly back, on my red piano stool.

This is what we need, they said.
These kills and wounds and innocent dead.
Though dreams are our food and peace is the plate
We can't stop Inevitable and his daughter named Hate.

The Blue Sea Hurt My Day.

A window flies open and calls itself Real.
Every peice of sparkling life jumps into it and smiles.
While we sit together by a pond and dance along the mud
Traitors they sing but we take our breaths and jump away.
Abyss called affection, a cracked mirror perfection.
Tonight that's where we dream.

So Backwards walks up to us and kisses our cheeks
And night time flies over with star-like antiques.
Just don't hurt the clouds because Day needs them as jewels
But Harmony ran away with my red piano stool.

-More to come I think.

A Beauty That Chills Our Souls.

Night is running towards us.

The sky is done celebrating.

Now it mourns in pain,

With deep, purple bruises resting on its face

And blood streaming over its arms.

How warm it looks.

While our throats frost,

Heaved with cold.

Selfish sky.

Forever unwilling to wrap its warm arms around our bodies.

Unpractical in its ways

But yet so beautiful.

The arrogance strikes us hard,

But we find ourselves too conscious with its loveliness.

And though we sit and stare in cold,

We must know there's something more behind our imperious sky.

-Olivia.

Jagged Clocks and Five Inch Rulers.

I finally think that I've lost my sense of time. A year and a day seem to mean the same thing to me now and I think a part of me likes it. I like the fact time passes unevenly now. I can go through a few weeks of life without noticing a change and then all of the sudden I realize the date. I know that time passes in the same way no matter how much our minds contradict it but it's sort of nice how days can pass seemingly quicker. Now I have no idea what this means. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm sort of losing my voice and my original thoughts that causes me to forget each day individually. Or maybe it's that I feel the same feelings day after day that makes time seem all the same. I don't want to forget myself for days at a time but I don't want to feel grief for long hours on hours either. Sometimes I even forget why I want time to pass so quickly. Why I don't just want to sit and enjoy the smaller things that highschool brings me. And then I remember why I wait so impatiently. I wait for summer. I think because summer offers me a shred of hope that people from lost memories will wander back to me. That's everything my heart knows and sometimes my mind seems to agree with it.

Also, it's getting harder for me to tell the difference between the shallow emotions I feel at school and such and the deeper emotions I feel. Is this because I'm forgetting? Afterall, I can't hold onto the memories forever. My memory is like ruler. I can't measure my whole life. This scares me to death. But I'm not going to think about that now, it's too early in the night.

Until I decide to chain myself to the computer agian, this has been a girl who wishes that she lived in a place where no one left too soon at 5:55 next evening.

A Life's Emotion

What we know is only a small portion of everything that fills our lives.
The words we use can sometimes be contemplated in different ways
In our minds we understand good and bad
And all the words used to describe those two things.
Every word we say or write or think
I believe is put together in a way that can be seen as beautiful.
Whether it be by the writer
Or by those who turn the words into something they love.
That, to me, is poetry.
Connecting together words that may or may not make sense to anyone else but the writer
But when the reader sees them
They change the words into something that reflects what they sincerely believe.
Everyone places their confidence in poetry
As it either reveals itself to the world
Or secretes itself to darkness.
Poetry passes the life of the writer
Onto those who have the courage to read on.
Every word we speak is seen by others in different ways
So I believe that it is in poetry we find love
And it is through words we find a life’s emotion.

I'm not quite sure what this is yet.

Scratches On My Skin.

I feel like I'm living in two different sides of myself. It's sort of like I have two different types of emotions. The happys and sads, I feel with my school and friends life and then the deeper emotions that I feel on more of a personal level. It's like the pain I feel on the school and friends side barely scratches the surface of my skin. But the pain I feel personally lives deep down under my skin. This personal level consists of something bigger than me. I don't know if it's love or if it's just the grief of missing someone. But I do know that it's there. And it's been there since a few summers ago. I know that it changed me. And I know that the emotions I feel because of it are so much deeper rooted than those of teenage dissapointments and adolescent excitement. Everyday I dive into that world called youth and I try my hardest to distract myself from what lies underneath my skin. I guess it's just spare time like this when I really start to think and miss. But I'm going to stop myself before I get too far(and too sappy).

Until the future this has been a girl who doesn't feel like wishing tonight.

Sorting Out Blanks (In My Head)

Once agian, I have no idea how to start this next post. I guess I'll just let it become whatever it becomes. I've decided not to talk about my personal/social life at all on this blog. Later on I might change my mind but for now I'd rather not bore you.

I have to say that this blog is helping me. I'm getting better at letting myself out to others. Sometimes I'll just say what I'm thinking in mid conversation. Or I'll say something that they find unusual. But it's not really unusual, it's just me. For now, I'm just letting myself slip to my friends. But maybe in a long while I'll be able to let a little bit of myself slip to everyone and then they may think of me differently. Time seems to wrap around every aspect of my life. I don't mean the time in a minute or even a day. But more the time of a year, maybe months, or even more years. Those amounts of time grab hold of every goal I have and every aspect that I live for. Everything I want seems so far away from me now and it's time that stands in the way. Perhaps when I'm older, I'll be able to live for the next day or accomplish my goals within the hour. I know this may not make any sense to you and if it doesn't then don't try and understand. If it doesn't, I hope that somehow you will be able to mold the words in this post to fit your life and to relate to yourself. I guess what I'm saying is make of this post whatever you want of it because maybe it will help you sort yourself out too.

Until I'm not sure when, this has been a girl who wishes that she could pass time like an hourglass at 4:44 in the dark.